Eternally Lost
by jjcrimminds
Summary: She would never be the same, that much was obvious. But it was up to her to find herself again, because if she didn't, who knew what would happen.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. I know it's probably extremely stupid to star another multi chapter fic when I still haven't finished the first one. I'm sorry for that. I'm trying to work on it right now.**

 **As for this, I'm planning on it being a couple of chapters. I started writing this months ago, but I never got around to posting it until now. Please let me know what you think!**

 **Oh, and I know that the summary might not make sense right now, but it will as we get farther into the story!**

The team and I stood outside the warehouse, our vests secured around us. The unsub, a psychotic man who killed woman because he thought they were his abusive mother, was hiding inside with his latest victim.

"Alright, Kate, Morgan, and JJ, you will enter from the back entrance and cover the basement and the first floor. Rossi, Reid, and I will enter through the front and canvass the second and third floors. Stay together. This guy is in the middle of a psychotic break and won't be reasoned with." Hotch directed us.

Since this was such a large building, a full S.W.A.T. team was dispatched and on scene with the us, awaiting further instruction. Hotch divided them and sent an equal amount of men with each group of the team he split up.

Once everything was situated, Hotch gave the green light, and each group made their move towards the building. Hotch's team entered through the front and our group made our way to the back.

Once inside, Morgan, Kate, and I quickly searched the ground floor, sticking close to each other as instructed. Every room was searched, but to no avail. The unsub wasn't on this floor.

We regrouped with S.W.A.T. and made our way down the stairs to the basement. It was darker down here because there was no windows, but it was still light enough to see.

We moved slowly down the hallway that connected to the stairs. As we neared the first room, a scream echoed in the halls. It was our victim, 24 year old Kristie Miller.

We located the source of the noise when we found the room where she was being held. As soon as the unsub saw us, he immediately raised his gun.

"Daniel Parker, FBI! Put the gun down!" Morgan shouted at the man.

However, the unsub was psychotic, and like Hotch said, there was no reasoning with him. Without a word, Daniel fired his gun twice. Morgan quickly returned fire and the unsub was dead in seconds.

Daniel's bullets had hit their mark though, which was my abdomen. The force of the bullets knocked me to the ground, stealing my breath.

Kate immediately knelt next to me. She quickly undid the straps of my vest and pulled it off, relieving the pressure of the bullets. "Are you okay?" Kate asked.

I just nodded, still trying to catch my breath. The pain radiating from my abdomen and ribs was excruciating.

As soon as Morgan secured Kristie, he turned to me. He took in my pale face and shallow breathing. _She's so thin. The bullets may have broken her ribs._ Morgan thought.

"JJ, I need to lift up your shirt so I can see if your ribs are broken." I just nodded, still too winded to speak.

Morgan gently lifted up my shirt. Next to him, Kate gasped at the sight of the scars on my abdomen. Her minded flashed back to a previous case.

" _How did you catch all of that?" Kate asked, wondering how she had known why the unsub had used electric shock. JJ looked over at her, her expression guarded._

" _I've seen it before."_

Kate understood now.

Morgan ignored the scars. Although he had never seen them before, he knew they were there and how she got them. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he continued on with his task.

Just as he was about to begin, Hotch, Reid, and Rossi entered the room. They saw me on the ground with Kate and Morgan around me. "What happened?" Hotch asked to no one in particular.

Kate got up and explained what had happened to Hotch and Rossi. Reid came over and knelt beside me. He also saw the scars on my stomach, but like Morgan, he didn't react.

Hotch and Rossi came over when Kate was done. They all stood over me as Morgan gently felt my ribs for any obvious damage. I sucked in a breath; even the lightest touch sent jolts of pain though my body.

Morgan sighed when he felt that three of JJ's ribs were displaced. He pulled his hands away and gently pulled her shirt back down. He met JJ's eyes. "Three of your ribs are definitely broken, and maybe more too." He told her, sympathy in his voice.

I just closed my eyes, trying to breathe through the pain. Hotch, seeing this, was quick to reassure her. "The ambulance is already on the way, JJ. Try to hold on until then."

I nodded, and tried to level my breathing. However, a new pain was beginning to form in my abdomen. It started out as a small throbbing sensation, but it stared to get worse.

"Guys, something's wrong. There's –" My voice cut off as the throbbing sensation suddenly escalated into a stabbing one. It felt as though someone was ripping my insides apart.

I screamed out in agony and instinctively curled up in a fetal position, trying to lessen the pain, but my broken ribs weren't helping the situation.

The whole team was kneeling by my side immediately. However, no one knew what to do or how to help me. I didn't even know how to help myself.

Morgan sat by her side and held her hand, thinking that he should've just killed the unsub before he even pulled a gun.

Reid was wracking his brain for any medical condition that could be causing JJ's pain.

Kate was kneeling by JJ's head, stroking her hair, and telling her to try to calm down and breathe.

Rossi was wondering how the situation had escalated so quickly.

Hotch was yelling at S.W.A.T. to get the medics, who had just arrived.

I wrapped my arms around myself, as if trying to brace myself against the pain. Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes as I listened to Kate and tried to breathe.

Finally, the paramedics arrived and quickly tended to me. "What happened to her?" The male medic asked Hotch. "She was shot twice in the vest. She has some broken ribs, but just a couple minutes ago she started screaming in pain. We don't know what's wrong with her."

The medic nodded at moved quickly to my side. Reid moved to make room. "Ma'am, I need you to try to uncurl and lay flat on your back." He told the woman gently.

I tried to do as he asked, but the moment I moved, my broken ribs shifted. I gasped as a new pain filled me. I could feel blood start to trickle down my side, and I knew what had happened.

One of my broken ribs had pierced my skin.

The medic, seeing the agent couldn't move, lifted up her shirt to see the severity of her wounds. He cursed when he found the bone sticking out of her skin, blood pouring out around it. "Greg, I need an intubation kit and gauze now!" The medic called out to his partner.

Greg joined Mark, his partner, and handed him the needed equipment. He gave the woman a sedative, and he skillfully intubated her while Mark placed gauze around the protruding rib to slow the bleeding.

The team stood around the medics, watching anxiously as the medics worked on JJ. They trusted the men with the care of their colleague and friend, knowing they could do little to help.

Mark finished up with the gauze, and motioned to Greg to help him get the woman onto the stretcher. They had to be extremely careful; they couldn't afford to injure the woman further.

Just as they were about to move her, Greg spotted something. He cursed under his breath at what he found. "Mark, come over here, quickly."

Mark, hearing the worried tone of his colleague's voice, stopped what he was doing and immediately went to Greg's side. Greg looked to the crest of the woman's legs. Mark followed his gaze and gasped. He looked at his partner, and within seconds, they had the woman on the stretcher and headed towards the ambulance.

The team was shocked at the medics' abrupt departure. Kate looked to Hotch, who nodded. She turned as quickly followed the medics to the ambulance so that she could ride with them to the hospital.

But what not one member of the team saw was the growing blood stain between JJ's legs.

 **Again, please review and thank you all for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! So, I decided to update this story now. I already had the chapter written, but I don't like to update super quickly, because then I have to write each chapter faster to keep up with the story.**

 **I'm now back in school, so the only time I can write is the weekends. I'll try to keep on time with my updating for this story!**

 **Thanks, and enjoy!**

Kate hopped into the ambulance, and they quickly left the warehouse. She still had no idea what had caused JJ so much pain other than her broken ribs.

Greg was in the back with the two agents while Mark drove the ambulance. His eyes focused on the blood stain between the agent's legs, and he feared the worse. However, there was nothing he could do about it in the ambulance. That would be up to the doctors in the hospital.

JJ's shirt was rolled up to keep the protruding rib exposed. Greg quickly replaced the gauze as JJ's blood had already soaked through the first one. It showed no signs of slowing down.

Greg knew that this agent was severely injured, especially with how fast she was bleeding out. And from blood coming between her legs, Greg suspected that there was more than one life to be saved, if it wasn't gone already. With this thought, Greg slid open the small window that connected to the cab of the ambulance and told Mark to step on it.

Kate kept her attention focused on JJ. She absentmindedly stroked her hair and held her hand, determined to give her any type of comfort no matter how unconscious she was. She was startled at the sound of alarms going off next to her.

Greg saw the machines and quickly went into action. "BP is dropping. Administrating 10 ccs of epinephrine." He quickly injected the drug into JJ's IV. After a couple of seconds, JJ's heart rate leveled out to a more normal pace.

Kate and Greg both let out a breath. That was a close one. Kate help JJ's hand. "You have to hold on, JJ. For Will and Henry. For us."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They made it to the hospital with no more incidents. The sedative kept JJ unconscious the whole way, and for that, Kate was grateful. This way JJ wasn't in any pain.

Greg and Mark quickly transported JJ inside, and the paged doctors and nurses met them. They pushed her through the double doors leading to the OR, and a nurse stopped Kate from following them.

"You can't go in there. The waiting room is down the hallway on your left." Kate nodded, but her eyes drifted back to the double doors. The nurse saw this, and placed a hand on Kate's shoulder. "Don't worry. She's in good hands." Kate gave a small smile and made her way to the waiting room to wait for the rest of the team.

They appeared only five minutes later, including Garcia, and piled into the room. They all rushed over to Kate, who was sitting in one of the plastic chairs.

"How was she?" Reid asked, worried for his best friend. Kate stood up. "Her blood pressure dropped briefly in the ambulance, but the medic got it back. She was sedated the whole time."

The team breathed a little easier knowing that JJ wasn't in any pain. It was bad enough to see one of their own injured.

Reluctantly, each team member settled in their chairs to wait for the news.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Back in the hallways, nurses and doctors were rushing JJ to the OR. Mark and Greg ran alongside the stretcher, informing the aids of the agent's condition.

"The patient is Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jareau. She took two bullets to the vest, which broke at least three of her ribs on contact, if not more. I sedated her due to high pain levels. A rib has punctured the abdominal cavity and through her skin, which caused excessive bleeding due to a punctured artery. BP dropped in the ambulance and I administrated 10 ccs of epi to combat that." Greg said to the nurse pushing the stretcher.

The nurse, whose nametag said she was Sheri, nodded in acknowledgement. Mark continued for Greg. "There is also a possibility of the patient being pregnant. There was excessive vaginal pleading and it could be causing the pain in her abdomen if she miscarried."

Sheri's eyes widened at the revelation. Without another word, she pushed the agent through the entrance of the OR. The paramedics were left outside, as they couldn't enter that section of the hospital without permission.

Inside the OR, doctors and nurses prepared JJ for surgery. Before they could operate, however, they had to do an ultrasound to see if the woman was pregnant, and if she was, if the baby was still alive.

Sheri swiftly applied the gel to the device she held in her hand that another nurse had brought in. She softly pressed it to the agent's abdomen, being careful not to disturb the protruding bone or internal broken ribs.

Everyone in the room searched the screen for signs of a baby. Not moments later, Sheri found it. Agent Jareau had to be at least six weeks along.

Sheri held her breath as she tried to find a heartbeat. But no matter which way she moved the scanner, she couldn't find one. After minutes of searching, Sheri gave up. "No heartbeat." She said thickly.

Every single person in that room, nurse or doctor, had tears in their eyes. Sheri studied the young woman's face. She was beautiful, that much was clear. Her gaze drifted down to her left hand, where she saw a ring. So, she was married as well. She wondered if the agent had any kids already, and her heart broke for the child that would never be born.

A machine beeping brought Sheri out of her daze. The lead surgeon stepped up. "Prepare for the removal of the fetus for a terminal miscarriage." He spoke.

Once it was complete, the surgeons began to repair the damage to the agent's ribs. Usually, in broken rib cases, they would just wrap them, but since the bone had punctured the abdominal cavity, the young woman now had a large amount of internal bleeding that, without proper treatment, could cause her to bleed out.

In a couple of hours, the doctors had all of the woman's ribs back in their proper place, and had repair the severed artery. She had crashed once during surgery, but luckily, they brought her back.

Sheri bandaged the woman's wound on her abdomen, and with the help of another nurse, transported her onto a bed that could be moved to her designated hospital room.

For now, the worst of it was over, and Sheri prayed that Agent Jareau would be okay.

 **Please leave a review or feedback, if you can. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Sorry it's been a while. I just want to let you guys know that I have every intention of finishing this story, as well as my other multi-chapter fic. I am also in the process of writing another one-shot.**

 **Oh, and a friend of mine reminded me that I forgot to tell you guys that I will be making a sequel to Training Day! Let me know if there's anything you want to see happen in it, and I will do my best.**

 **I'm not sure when I'll be able to update next, so this may be it for a while.**

 **As always, thank you to all who read, review, favorite, and follow my fics!**

It had been hours since JJ had gone to surgery, and the team was getting more anxious by the minute. No one could give them any updates.

Hotch had called Emily the minute he had entered the waiting room, and she had gotten on the first plane there. She was now sitting in a chair next to Morgan, nervously biting her nails.

It was unnerving to see Emily Prentiss so on edge. She had never been one to show fear or nervousness, although if there was any time for it, now was it.

Hotch had also called Will, who had arrived shortly thereafter with Henry. He was sitting in the corner next to Garcia. Will's puffy, red eyes were clearly visible to everyone in the room.

Henry understood that his mommy was hurt; his daddy's sad eyes were a dead giveaway. After an hour or so of waiting, he had fallen asleep on his father's chest.

Morgan sat stiffly in the hospital chair, his muscles tight with tension. His mind kept flashing back to the moment when the unsub had pulled out that gun. If he had just reacted quicker, maybe none of this would've happened. He hung his head. It was his fault that JJ was on that operating table. He was the lead agent; he should've been able to protect his group.

Reid slouched in his chair, thinking back to the last time they were all in a waiting room like this. It was when Emily had been stabbed by Ian Doyle. Then, it was JJ who had delivered the news of Emily's "death". This time, it would be some stranger informing them of JJ's. Only this time, it wouldn't be fake.

Rossi sat silently next to Hotch, remembering the day way JJ had told him that he had inspired her to join the Bureau. It had been a dark time for him, one where he had been contemplating giving up his career as an author because he thought that his books did more harm than good. But she had replenished his confidence with only a few words. It was times like that when he couldn't wish for a better colleague and friend.

Kate sat on the other side of Garcia, nervously tapping her foot. Yeah, she hadn't known JJ for nearly as long as everyone else on the team, but in that short time of a few months, they had grown close. Them both being mothers had created a bond between them that no one else could compete with. Sure, Hotch also had a child and JJ was closer to him for that reason, but he wasn't a woman. She and JJ had been close from the start, and she didn't know what she would do if she lost JJ now.

Hotch sat still in his seat. Like Morgan, he blamed himself. He was the team leader – he should be able to protect his colleagues. He had made a tactical decision for them to split up, and he couldn't help but think that maybe if they had all stayed together, none of this would have ever happened. His eyes drifted over to Will and Henry. If JJ didn't make it, her son would grow up without a mother, and her husband without a wife. Hotch knew what that felt like, and he did _not_ want that for Henry.

Garcia had tears streaming silently down her cheeks. She tightly gripped Morgan's hand in hers as she tried to hold herself together. Why did it have to be JJ? Not that she'd want it to be anyone else, but JJ had a son and a husband. She had everything to live for. She remembered all those nights that they had spent together watching chick flicks by themselves or with Emily, just relaxing after a case or long day. She didn't know what she would do without JJ.

Emily bit her fingernails unconsciously, until she realized that she was doing it. She looked down at her ruined nails that previously had been long for the first time in years. She remembered all of the times that JJ would scold her for biting her nails during a case. In fact, JJ was the only reason that she had stopped the bad habit. JJ was her best friend, the one person in the whole world that she trusted before anyone else. She had done so much for her, much more than a person like her deserved. JJ lied to the team for Christ's sake, just so Emily would be safe. Emily would give her life for JJ in a heartbeat, and she knew that JJ would do the same for her; she had said as much in previous conversations. If she didn't make it, Emily knew that she would lose a piece of herself that she would never get back.

Will held Henry's sleeping form tight to his chest. It was for his comfort as much as it was for Henry. God, the last time JJ had been hurt so badly was when she was abducted a little over a year ago. She had the scars to prove it. He wanted to be mad at Hotch for letting her get hurt again, but he knew that it would be misplaced anger. It wasn't Hotch's fault – it wasn't anyone's fault but the sick bastard who had shot her. He prayed to God that she made it. He needed her, Henry needed her. She was the rock of their family, the one who held everything together. Will had never loved another woman like he loved JJ. She was it for him. Without her, he was nothing.

Will's train of thought was broken when the door to the waiting room opened. In walked a doctor who was holding a clipboard.

"Agent Jareau?" She called out.

Everyone stood up a once. The woman looked startled at the sudden movement. However, she brushed it off.

"I'm Dr. Kaysen. I was one of the surgeons who operated on Agent Jareau." She said to the group, studying each face.

Hotch held out his hand. "Aaron Hotchner. I'm the unit chief. And this is Agent Jareau's husband." Hotch said, motioning to Will after he had shaken the doctor's hand. Dr. Kaysen took in the distraught man and sleeping child in his arms.

"Nice to meet you, although I wish it was under better circumstances. Okay, let's get started, shall we?" Dr. Kaysen flipped a paper over on her clipboard.

"We set all of Agent Jareau's ribs back into place. Because one had managed to puncture the abdominal cavity, there was a large amount of internal bleeding. She crashed once, but we were able to get her back, and we stemmed the blood flow from her ruptured artery and repaired it. She's sleeping off the anesthesia." Dr. Kaysen paused, not wanting to finish the prognosis, but knowing that she had to.

Hotch noticed the expression on the woman's face. "What aren't you telling us?" he asked her before anyone else could speak.

Dr. Kaysen took a deep breath before continuing. "Due to the pressure and force of the bullets, the fetus died shortly on impact. I'm so sorry sir, but she lost the baby."

It was as if Will's heart had stopped beating. He was so shocked that he almost dropped Henry.

"Baby?" He choked out.

The doctor's eyes filled with dread. "You didn't know?" She said, remorse filling her voice. Will shook his head, unable to form words.

"She was four weeks along. It's possible, being so early in the pregnancy, that she didn't even know herself." Dr. Kaysen said, her eyes burning from the tears that threatened to spill. Seeing Agent Jareau's husband so distressed weighed heavily on her.

Will stepped back and sank into a chair, still holding Henry, who was still sleeping, despite the commotion. His didn't even try to hide his tears as he thought about another baby lost. He choked back a sob. He wondered if JJ even knew that she was pregnant. Oh God. _JJ._ What he was feeling now would be nothing compared to what she would feel when she woke up and learned that she had lost another baby. This would crush her. She had barely recovered from the first miscarriage.

When Will sat in the chair, Hotch gave him some privacy and asked the doctor when they could see JJ. "You can go in now, if you'd like. She's in room 403 should be waking up soon. But only two in the room at a time." She said. Hotch nodded, and with that, Dr. Kaysen left the group alone to process.

When the doctor told them that JJ had lost the baby, Reid hung his head. He thought back to the moment a couple of months ago when JJ had pulled him into the room during a case and had told him about her miscarriage during her time in the Middle East. She was so broken up about then, even three years later. He wasn't sure that she could go through another trauma like that.

Reid walked over to Will and sat down beside him. "I'm so sorry." He said sincerely, swallowing his own tears.

Will looked up at the sound of Reid's voice. "You knew?" Will asked him, surprised. Reid nodded in response. "She told me a couple of weeks ago during a hard case." Reid said in a low voice, not wanting the others to hear.

Will nodded, his eyes burning. "Then you know what this will do to her." Reid lowered his head, his sorrow coming through in the form of his tears. "Yeah, I do." He whispered in reply.

He looked up sharply. "But we can help her get through it. She has to get through it. She knows we're all here for her." He said, his conviction made clear in his voice.

Will blew out a breath and nodded. "You're right. We can get through this. We _have_ to." He shook his head, as if he was trying to clear his head, and stood up, still holding Henry.

The rest of the team decided that Will and Emily would go in first, since Henry was still sleeping. Garcia took his prone form.

Together, Will and Emily made their way to JJ's room.

 **Brownie points to anyone who knows what movie Dr. Kaysen is from! She does not play a doctor in the movie, I only used her name. If you want to look it up, go right ahead, but let me know that you did! I want to see who has actually seen the movie!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! I finally updated this. What's it been? Months? Anyway, I'm sorry for the wait.**

 **Let me know what you think of this chapter. I started it out with a whole different idea in mind, but as I typed, the story just kind of wrote itself.**

 **Anyway, I guess I'll leave you to it. Please leave me a review!**

Will and Emily stopped outside of room 403. They both stood there, staring at the closed door, trying to muster up the courage to open it.

Finally, after two minutes of examining the grains of wood, Emily put her hand on Will's arm. "It's okay." She squeezed it as a sign of support.

He looked back up at the door. His wife was just beyond it, and yet she felt so far away. He felt that it would take more than opening a door to reach her.

Shaking his thoughts away, Will decided to man up and reached out to grasp the knob in his hand. The cool metal stung his hand, almost as if it was telling him not to go in.

He ignored the feeling and opened the door.

The room was dark, even though it was the middle of the day. The sun should've been shining through the window on the other side of the room, but somehow its rays reached everywhere else besides this window.

He moved into the room slowly, Emily behind him. His focus drifted to the hospital bed where his wife would be laying.

It was empty.

His eyes darted around and his breath quickened. "Where is she!" He ran around the room, searching everywhere as if she was hiding in an invisible corner somewhere.

He sank to his knees and held his head in his hands. She was gone, nowhere in sight.

As soon as Emily had realized that JJ wasn't in the room, she ran out and got a nurse. She dragged her back to the room. "Where the hell is she?" Emily ground out, her voice rough while her face showed just how panicked she was.

The nurse, whose nametag said Sheri, was dumbfounded. Her mouth dropped open when she saw that the patient was nowhere to be found.

Without replying to the livid agent, she turned around and ran back to the nurse's station. She yelled at the person working there to page Dr. Kaysen.

Sheri racked her brain for how Jennifer possibly could have gotten out of her room, let alone her bed. The woman's ribs were crushed and she had a laceration on her abdomen. If she had left of her own volition, she would be in an unbearable amount of pain. Not to mention that she would risk injuring herself further by even moving.

Just then, Dr. Kaysen rushed into the room. Will got up, wiping his tears away, and he and Emily approached the flustered doctor.

"How could she have gotten out?" Will asked her, his voice displaying the increasing amount of panic that he was feeling.

Dr. Kaysen shook her head. "I have no idea. Jennifer shouldn't even be able to move, much less get out of bed. I'll have security check the surveillance camera footage.

Emily gave a sharp shake of her head. "Don't bother. We have a tech analyst that can get the job done faster and much more efficiently."

The doctor wasn't surprised by the agent's sharp tone. In her eyes, the entirety of the hospital staff had proved themselves incompetent of handling a patient effectively. Especially if one as injured as Jennifer had magically disappeared from her bed without anyone noticing.

Emily left the room and stood in the hallway. She felt bad for snapping at the doctor, but the whole situation was unbelievably frustrating. How could a whole hospital loose one patient?

She pulled her phone out so she could call Garcia. Her hands shook as she tried to tap the button that would send the call.

Taking a deep breath, Emily centered herself. She couldn't freeze now. Not when JJ needed her. It was with that thought that Emily hit send and pressed the phone to her ear.

As soon as Garcia answered, Emily swiftly explained the situation. She instructed Garcia to comb through the video footage and try to find JJ.

When she finished the call, Emily slid her phone back into her pocket and leaned against the wall. She closed her eyes as a tear trickled down her cheek.

 _Where are you, JJ?_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The sound of a phone ringing startled everyone sitting in the otherwise silent room. The upbeat song made sure that everyone knew it was Garcia's.

She pulled her phone out of her bag and glanced at the caller I.D. It was Emily. Her eyes widened as she thought of all of the reasons that she might be calling her. JJ was dead, JJ slipped into a coma, JJ…

She was pulled from her runaway thoughts by Morgan snapping his fingers in front of her face. "You gonna get that?" He asked her, motioning to the still-ringing phone that she was holding.

Her hands shaking, Garcia answered the call. Before she could even get a word out, Emily's voice was in her ear telling her to put the phone on speaker.

Garcia did as she was told and the rest of the team leaned closer. They all listened as Emily told them that JJ was missing, that she had vanished from her hospital bed.

"Garcia, the hospital is looking at the video footage but I need you to do it, okay? You're much better and you'll find her quicker." Emily's distressed voice came through the phone.

Garcia nodded, even though Emily couldn't see her. "I will, Emily. I'll find her. _We'll_ find her."

With that, the call ended and the room was silent again. Garcia wasted no time in pulling her laptop out and turning it on, prepared to find her girl.

The rest of the team was baffled at how or why JJ had left her room. Hotch stood up and paced, trying to come up with a solid reason. Morgan's brow creased as he thought of a tired and in-pain JJ wandering the hospital alone. Reid scanned his knowledge of JJ's type of injuries and was left with no answers as to how JJ physically had moved. He voiced his thoughts aloud.

"Guys, the chances of JJ being able to move around that much are exponentially small. With the type of injuries that she has, it would be next to impossible for her to move without being in excruciating pain. Not to mention that since she just came out of surgery, she should be incredibly incoherent from the sedative." His brow furrowed as he tried to think of how JJ could have left her hospital room.

Rossi raised a brow. "So what are we saying, that someone took her?" Morgan shook his head at the notion. "That doesn't make sense though. Who would have the motive to take her, let alone even know that she was in the hospital? Our unsub is dead and there's no one connected to the case that would have this type of motivation."

They pondered Morgan's words, bewildered by the situation. They were no closer to finding a solution when Garcia's voice broke them out of their thoughts.

"Guys, I found her."


	5. Chapter 5

**Finally another chapter! I know, I suck at updating, but I'm just so busy. I am working on the next chapter for** _ **The Past is Never Forgotten**_ **and I hope to have it up soon. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!**

JJ's eyes flew open to the sight of an unfamiliar room. Her eyes darted around as she tried to pinpoint where she was.

The smell of chemicals and cleaning products assaulted her nose and she realized that she was in a hospital. Her brow creased as she tried to remember what had happened.

All at once, it came rushing back to her. The case, the unsub, the bullets. At the memory of getting shot, her eyes widened as she felt a burning sensation in her abdomen. It felt like her body was on fire.

Gasping, JJ tried to sit up. She clung to the metal bars on the sides of her hospital bed and pulled. Stabbing pain flared in her ribs, but she pushed through and made it into a sitting position. As soon as she stilled, blackness overcame her vison.

When JJ opened her eyes again, she was looking up at the ceiling tiles of the hospital hallway as they passed by, blurring into a streak.

 _Her vison was blurred but she could make out the figures of the people around her. There was a nurse and the two paramedics who had brought her to the hospital. They were speaking and their voices were muffled, but JJ could make out what they were saying._

" _The patient is Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jareau. She took two bullets to the vest, which broke at least three of her ribs on contact, if not more. I sedated her due to high pain levels. A rib has punctured the abdominal cavity and through the outer epidermal layer, which caused excessive bleeding due to a punctured artery. BP dropped in the ambulance and I administrated 10 ccs of epi to combat that." The medic, who JJ knew was Greg, said to the nurse pushing her stretcher._

 _JJ was on the verge of unconsciousness. Apparently the medic didn't administer enough sedative because she was still awake, barely. She closed her eyes again and continued to listen to the voices surrounding her._

" _There is also a possibility of the patient being pregnant. There was excessive vaginal bleeding and it could be causing the pain in her abdomen if she miscarried."_

 _JJ inhaled sharply. Pregnant? But she couldn't be. There was no signs, nothing. She couldn't be…_ _ **No.**_ _If she was, that would mean that she had lost the baby._

 _A tear trickled out of the corner of her eye that went unnoticed by the nurse and paramedics. As she was wheeled into the OR, JJ finally succumbed to the darkness, her last thought of the child she could be carrying._

JJ sat straight up, gasping as the movement sent excruciating pain throughout her body. Tears streamed down her face, not from the pain, but from the images she had seen.

JJ knew that everything she had heard was true. She was still conscious when she was wheeled into the hospital. The doctors and medics didn't know that; they thought she was sedated and out for good.

JJ wished that she was.

Her arms wrapped around her abdomen as she gasped for a breath. _A miscarriage._ Deep down she knew that it was true. She could feel the loss of her child, one she hadn't even known existed.

She needed to get out, away from the smells and sounds of the hospital. It was as if the room was closing in on her, threatening to take every breath that she had left. Pushing the safety bar down on the side of her bed, JJ slowly swung her legs around. She slid off of the bed and to the floor.

The cool linoleum sent a jolt through her bare feet. When all of her weight was on her feet, JJ let out a slow breath. Her body was screaming for her to get back into bed to lessen the pain. JJ had an extremely high pain threshold, but this exceeded it by a mile.

JJ, being as stubborn as she was, wasn't giving up this easily. One way or another, she was getting out of this room no matter how much it took.

Taking a small step forward, she hissed as pain flared in her abdomen. She had a bandage there, presumably from the rib that had pierced her skin.

JJ took a slow, deep breath, trying not to aggravate her broken ribs. Slowly, she moved to the door, each step precise. JJ pulled it open a crack and peered out into the hallway.

A nurses' station stood right to her left across the hall, occupied by three nurses at the moment. She needed to get out without them seeing her, but how?

All of a sudden a loud alarm went off, startling her. JJ watched as the nurses took off, needed for a medical emergency that the alarm had sounded for.

Cautiously, JJ pulled the door open fully and scanned the hallway. No one in sight. She had to move now, and quickly, before anyone came back.

Taking a deep breath, JJ braced herself and moved into the hallway. She didn't stop and walked as fast as her injuries would let her, wincing with every step. JJ moved briskly down the hallway and turned the corner at the end. She turned back around at the sight of a nurse walking this way.

She had to hide before the nurse rounded the corner and saw her. Quickly scanning her surroundings, her eyes lands on a door marked _Stairs_. Without hesitation she pushed the door open and shut it swiftly but gently behind her, just as the nurse turned the corner into the hallway.

JJ pressed her ear to the door as she heard the nurse walk by the stairs. JJ breathed a sigh of relief and leaned heavily against the opposite wall. Her body ached and throbbed from the over exertion, but she wasn't done yet. She couldn't stay here in this spot; it was only a matter of time before someone opened the door and saw her. No, she had to go all the way.

Multiple flights of stairs stood before her, narrow and steep. Breathing heavily and clutching her side, JJ began her ascend upwards.

 **Please let me know what you thought! Where do you think JJ is going? What do you think she will do? As always, thank you all for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**So I finally updated this. Yay. Sorry it took so long. I also wanted to say that it may take longer for me to update now since school will be starting up again.**

 **I'm also working on two one-shots right now, as well as the last chapter of** _ **The Past is Never Forgotten.**_ **I'll try to get them up as soon as possible.**

 **Okay, enough of this. Enjoy and Happy 2016!**

"Where is she Garcia?" Morgan said, the team turning to look at her. Garcia rolled back in her chair and motioned to the laptop screen. Their hearts dropped collectively when they saw.

JJ was on the roof.

Everyone was still for a few seconds before they went into action. Reid immediately grabbed his jacket. "I'm going up there." He told them.

Morgan stepped up to him. "Reid man, don't you think we should let Will go to her first?" Reid shook his head adamantly. "No. Seeing Will would only distress her further."

Everyone was confused by Reid's statement. "Reid, Will is her husband. Why would he distress her?" Hotch inquired.

Reid sighed. "Hotch, I can't tell you the details because that isn't what JJ would want, but something happened to her, something she never told us. Please trust me when I say that you don't want him going first."

Hotch's brow creased. "And you do?"

Reid blinked, confused. "What?" Hotch clarified. "You know what happened to her?" He was surprised; he would've thought that JJ would have told him if something was wrong.

Reid nodded. "She told me during a case a couple of weeks ago."

Hotch thought back to the cult case the team had solved a while back. He remembered asking Reid if everything was alright when he seemed unfocused.

He also remembered that the day had been the anniversary of JJ's abduction.

Hotch made a decision; he trusted Reid's judgement. "Okay, Reid. Go." Reid nodded and took off after Garcia told him where the nearest stairwell was.

He pulled out his phone and called Emily. He told her where JJ was, and for her not to tell Will. Instead, he instructed her to bring him back to the team so he could explain the situation in person. She agreed and hung up.

Setting his phone down, Hotch dragged his hands down his face.

When had things gotten so out of hand?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Reid moved as fast as he could. He took the stairs by two, and sometimes by three. It was four flights up to the roof.

How had JJ even made it that far?

Even he was struggling to make it to the top, and he wasn't injured and was in fairly good health. JJ had just been shot, had broken and bruised ribs, and had just had a miscarriage. She shouldn't even be able to move, let alone climb four flights of stairs.

Reid finally made it to the top and rested his palms against the access door; gasping for breath. After a few seconds, he stood up tall and rolled his shoulders. He could do this.

He had to.

Pushing the door open slowly, Reid scanned the rooftop. He didn't see her in the immediate vicinity, but there were multiple ventilation openings that she could be on the other side of.

Tentatively, he moved forward, his eyes squinting against the bright sun. "JJ?" He called out. He stopped for a moment and didn't hear a response.

He moved slowly but surely and made his way across the roof. He had checked behind all of the vents, with no sign of JJ.

Except for one.

He moved around it, his feet moving evenly. As he rounded the corner, his heart stopped.

There she was.

She was sitting on the ground, slumped against the metal vent. He legs were curled underneath her, her arms wrapped around herself. She gazed out across the cityscape, tears running down her cheeks.

Reid kneeled in front of her, and she didn't even register his presence. She just continued to stare out at the city.

That didn't unsettle him as much as the look in her eyes did. They were empty, like there wasn't even a person behind them. They held not one hint of emotion.

He would've thought she was dead if it wasn't for the shallow rising and falling of her chest.

"JJ?" He said softly, looking for any sign of a response.

There was none.

He tried again. "JJ." He said, louder this time.

Nothing.

This time he grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her. "Jennifer."

Her eyes slowly drifted to land on his face. "Spence?" She croaked out. In spite of the situation, he smiled. "Yeah, JJ. It's me."

"Spence." She said again, louder this time. She reached out to him desperately. He saw what she was trying to do and gently took her into his arms. She burrowed into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.

She was practically laying on top of him, but Reid didn't mind. "Spence." She choked out. "It's all my fault." New tears began to roll down her cheeks, soaking his shirt.

He held her tighter. "No, JJ. None of this is. Please, you have to believe me. This is _not_ your fault." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Wait – did you know you were pregnant?"

JJ shook her head, trying to speak clearly through the tears. "No I-I had no idea. There were no signs, nothing."

Reid's forehead creased in confusion. "Then how did you know about the baby?"

A sob shook her body. "When the paramedics brought me into the hospital, I heard them talking. About the baby. I don't think they sedated me enough because I was still awake. And when I woke up – I just knew. I felt…empty." She buried her head in his chest again.

Reid's heart ached for her. "JJ, you didn't know about the baby. It's not your fault." He tried to convince her, but he knew it would take time.

"But I should've known. I should've known that I was pregnant. And then I should've taken myself out of the field and-" Reid cut her off. "But you _didn't_ know, JJ. You can't blame yourself for something that you had no control over."

JJ shook her head. "I couldn't protect either of them. What kind of mother does that make me?" She continued on, seemingly oblivious to what he had just told her.

Reid tilted her chin to make her look at him. "You're an incredible mother, JJ. Any one of us could attest to that. Henry is lucky to have such caring parents. And the miscarriage was out of your control. There was nothing you could've done. Nothing."

JJ fell silent at his words, and neither of them spoke for a while. Reid could still feel her body shaking with silent sobs.

Reid broke the silence. "JJ, why did you come up here?" he asked her softly.

"I didn't have a choice. I was in the hall and a nurse was coming. I had to find an open room to hide in until she passed, and it just happened to be the stairwell. I couldn't stay on the stairs, so I just kept going up." She looked out at the cityscape again. "I'm glad that I did. It's very calming up here. No sound, no smells of the hospital, just silence and fresh air."

Reid nodded. All of a sudden a thought came to him. "JJ, how much pain are you in? How did you even get up here?"

She glanced down at her abdomen; it still burned with the fire of her broken ribs. She winced as she shifted on Reid. "I don't know. When I woke up, all I could think about was getting out of that room. I was suffocating – I just needed to get out. So I slid out of bed and just kept going. I couldn't stop, no matter how much it hurt. I just had to keep going." At the memory of the excruciating pain that she could still feel, she wrapped her arms around her abdomen.

Reid didn't miss the fact that she didn't answer his initial question. "How much does it hurt right now?" She looked away and didn't answer. He turned her head towards his. "How much JJ?"

She looked up at him. "It doesn't matter, Reid. I can handle it."

He noticed how she had called him Reid and the sharp tone of her voice. He took that to mean that she was in pain.

A lot of pain.

He knew he had to get back into her hospital bed. At that thought, he realized, to some astonishment, that she was in a hospital gown. "JJ, you must be freezing."

She shook her head. "No, I like the cool air. It's…numbing."

Regardless of her words, he ran a hand over her arm. It was ice cold to the touch. It was definitely time to go. "JJ, we need to get you back in your bed."

She sighed. "I know. And Spence" She looked at him. "Thank you."

He smiled softly. "We're all here for you, JJ. All of us. And you know you're going to have to tell them."

She looked away, her voice pained. "I know. But first we have to get back downstairs, don't we?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It took almost an hour and a lot of pain, but eventually, Reid had JJ settled back in her hospital room. She was so exhausted that she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Backing out of her room, Reid closed the door gently behind himself. Leaning against the door, he closed his eyes. JJ was one strong woman, but she had been through a lot. The road to recovery, both emotionally and physically, would be long.

And it sure as hell wouldn't be easy.


End file.
